- Have you ever wanted a set of colorful, informative slides to explain the persistent wage gap -- to what extent it exists, when, and why -- between men and women in America? {those "lesbian shitasses" at Jezebel.}
- Want to help start a Boobquake on Monday April 26? Wear your most office-unsuitable tops and draw the wrath of God down upon us.
So, start here ...
That's right! Just like that.
Then, progress to Step Two.
After that, take a drink -- you've earned it! -- and sit back and watch the tectonic plates start shifting. - Wanna get self-conscious about what you wear? Check out this list of the 25 most "fattening" clothing items, featuring virtually every kind of pants (mom jeans, grandma pants, cargo pants, capri pants, white pants, hot pants, sweat pants, any pair of pants with an elastic waistband, acid washed jeans, and shorts of any kind), skirts on both extremes (frilly mini skirts and peasant skirts), and comfortable shoes (ballet flats, gladiator sandals, white sneakers).
Also bad: patterned tights, baby doll dresses, and bikinis (!).
By contrast, what is the #1 most universally flattering item of clothing? I'm so glad you asked.
Spanx.
Luckily the commenters have the right attitude:GIRDLES are on the non-fattening list? Well, yeah, but that doesn't really count as CLOTHES. Also, god, look how much more FUN the fattening list is: binkinis, colors, cute details, trends. The non-fattening list is basically just monotone-black underwear. I'd rather look fat and cute and non-girdled, thanks.
I concur. Reject what my friend Lana calls "the tyranny of the flattering!" Trying on a daily basis to look your most tall, your most thin, your most non-threatening, professional but fun, sexy but not slutty, *and* age-appropriate is exhausting. And what's the point? Somewhere, at some point, the earth will shake, and you'll still get blamed for the rubble.
Hey, Maybe Don't Walk Up to AOC and Ask if She's Pregnant
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2 comments:
i'm famous!
it's a good quote! i've thought about it often and i'm glad i finally got the chance to use it in public.
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