navel gazing

i wrote a story about a freshman at college, back when i was a freshman in college, whose dashboard, washboard, blackboard stomach started growing for no conceivable reason. nothing else about her increased and she wasn't pregnant; indeed, she could find no explanation. although i never finished the story, i envisioned it as a kind of a nod to kipling. her stomach was a punishment, like the camel's hump, visited upon her for her indolence, passivity, and general bad temper.

body as punishment. why did i give an otherwise thin girl a belly to teach her a lesson? it seems interesting to me now but i didn't think about it overmuch then. i still had a belly fixation left over from high skool, when it honestly seemed like self-worth could be measured in waist inches. that was reason enough.

did anyone else catch the mannequin article in saturday's nyt? it mentions that mannequin manufacturers are responding to a more diverse and heavier female population in making new "goddess" mannequins. now, color me skeptical of anything, except mists of avalon, that references "goddess." but curvier mannequins sound like they couldn't miss.

one designer (male) disagrees with me & goddess manufacturers: "There's a difference between what people look like and what they want to look like," he said. "They want to see what they're trying to look like." to which i reply, bullshit. i'm tired of seeing what i want to look like. tired and even bored. give me a sense in your store windows of how your clothes will actually look on a real person.

another designer (male) disagrees with the fact that the new mannequins have more of an jennifer lopez inspired ass: "It's a little sexist," he said. "It's not creating an image of a woman as an elegant creature. It's a little bit down and dirty, a little crass." isn't that AMAZING? creating a model of women more as they actually are makes them no longer "elegant." it's "crass." it's THE 21ST CENTURY, people! is elegant and miles above "down and dirty" still what we think the idea woman must be?

on the other hand, let's not get carried away by how revolutionary the goddess is. she's "still a discreet 34B-25-35 1/2. "It'll remind you of the sexiness," he said, if not actually show it in its full glory, but it is still bigger than his standard Size 4/6 model's 32A-23-33." holy shit. if 34-25-35.5 is crass, inelegant, and down-and-dirty, then what am i? what's the average woman?

eve ensler, the v-chip queen herself, has moved up a few inches to belly territory. a new battlefield but i wouldn't say a much safer one. i'm curious what she'll do with it.