To: Sen. Reid, Minority Leader and All Around Important Congressional Guy
From: Me. Blogger.
Re: Recent strategy
A lot of people spend a lot of time talking about how the Democratic party is unfocused, quarrelsome, and stultified by its own stupid slogans. Sure, others argue, we don't march in lockstep like the Republicans; on the other hand, we're not wearing JACKBOOTS either! (Ouch!)
In the middle of the fray, Harry, there you are, unobtrusively going about your business. But some of us have been watching. Or at least I have. Here's what I've deduced and don't hesitate to tell me if I'm wrong. I can take criticism. Only from Mormons though! (Just kidding!)
1) You recommend Harriet Miers to President Bush, encouraging him to follow his worst instincts. He totally falls for it! He takes an embarrassing and painful pummeling from the right flank, most notably from his own former speechwriter.
2) While said pummeling occurs, you lead Democrats in moments of silent prayer. This wise move garners us admiration for the first time in ages.
3) After Bush testily nominates a replacement candidate, you shift some attention and, taking the enemy completely by surprise, call a "closed session" of Congress in order to talk about -- drumroll please! -- Iraq! Are Republicans steaming? They sure are; and if they're steaming buddy you know you're doing something right. They wanted to talk about Alito and you threw a wrench in their plans. Now they have to talk about this crazy, awful, mismanaged war that they and their constituents hate. Excellent!
4) Plus, you get what you wanted: the bipartisan review of the lead-up to war. This can only reflect badly on the White House. AND any article written on the subject must mention the indictment. Thus, instead of letting the White House shuffle this latest embarassment out of sight, you keep it solidly on the front burner.
You're not perfect, Harry. We disagree on a number of issues, including abortion, and why would anyone choose to live in Nevada? Still, you've managed to accomplish all of this under the radar. No one realizes you're smart enough to be so stealthy; they think Karl Rove is the only brain around here. Or maybe, hey, this is all a coincidence or an accident and I'm overreacting by attributing it to you.
Must be my mistake, Harry. Sorry about that!
Wink wink, nod nod,