one has to ask

Does a modern world with a postmodern attention span require both a Keira Knightley and a Natalie Portman? Both appear on magazine covers, their brown eyes staring at us from under butch haircuts. You can tell that editors have put the screws to their diminutive, skinny boy-bodies to make them exude sex appeal. In result, there's a faint whiff of it in the air, but perhaps that's coming from that Grey's Anatomy cover in the Entertainment section.

There seems to be enough talent between these two waifs to power one star. Which should it be? Let's break it down.

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY
20 years old, British. Definitely has the accent going for her. Recently impressed hardened Jane Austen fans with her turn as Eliza Bennett. However, had to work hard to impress them after pathetic performance in Pirates of the Carribean, where Johnny Depp out-sexed her by a mile and a half. Established some "girl next door" cred in Bend it like Beckham, squandered it in King Arthur.

NATALIE PORTMAN
24 years old, Israeli-American. Faked an accent for Closer, where she was thoroughly out-sexed by Clive Owen. Established "girl next door" cred in Garden State (and pedophile's dream cred in Beautiful Girls.) Sucked the life out of every Star Wars scene she was in, but let's be charitable and blame the script.

A tricky question? Hardly. The fact that Portman was utterly unconvincing as a stripper gives the edge to Knightley. These days pole skills in our young talented actresses are a must: Lohan, for example, practices three days a week! Plus, Knightley really did make a lovely Eliza. Sorry, Portman. See you on Naboo.
(A tip of the hat to the pros at Fametracker, of course.)