who's holding the other shoe?

I have a decent amount of generalized angst at the moment. Yes, it's all manageable and under control; travelling to & from DC this weekend didn't unleash the torment, for which I am grateful. But I'm beginning to marvel, myself. Shall I count the ways?

- My dad is sick. He has [the word] -- I hate saying the word. It's such a babyish word, too, full of such straightforward, primary-color letters that, rearranged, spell DEATH. Except, of course, that they don't. My dad is fine. What he has was caught early. He was artfully disemboweled then put together together again, the evil removed. Even his staples have now been taken out. His doctors give him an excellent chance of full recovery after they finish applying their strategic poisons. (Medicine is a bit scary, isn't it?)

- Someone else very close to me is going into the hospital for a procedure as well. Shhhhh. I think it's supposed to be kept under wraps.

- The wedding is a mere three months away and it turns out I can't carry lilacs, because in this modern age of instant gratification, of narcissism and conspicuous consumption, of the internet and QVC, in this 21st century Westernized globalized capitalized world, you can get absolutely anything anytime except lilacs in August.

GOOD NEWS:

- Mr. Ben is about to graduate from Law Skool. Graduate! I am so excited for him, so excited and so proud. Considering that I shared one room with him through the entire three year ordeal, I also feel somewhat accomplished myself, even though I am chagrined to realize that while he has achieved a JD (and others of my friends have rounded up or begun to round up other letters: MA, MS, MD, MFA, MBA) all I have to show for my post-college life is a savings account and an MRS.

- My grandmother seems wonderful. There's something so infinitely inspiring about her. At 94.5, she still lives by herself in her own apartment. She walks, she talks, she laughs, she reads, she does physical therapy, and as far as I'm concerned she flies in the face of modern science. She still has her own teeth!

- My mother and I got some very good wedding planning done over the weekend and it wasn't onerous in the least. Everyone we worked with, from the hair guy and the Russian makeup lady to the French dress shop clerk and the florist, was sweet to me without being didactic or overbearing. We made decisions -- good ones! As the ceremony gets increasingly concrete, I find I like it and can handle it better. Maybe it's just that as an abstraction it was frightening.

- It's springtime! New York is in bloom. I can never be sad when there are trees to admire. And, thanks to Katie, I'm reading this really fun book about zombies.