Goddammandblastit, I'm gonna go crazy at some point from the waiting. Brooklyn College did a round of notification by phone in late February during which I was *not* called; they have emitted not a peep since. I know because, so help me, I've started reading the frequently and frantically updated 2008 Admissions Blogs.
I am trying to remind myself of the following details, all of which are only Lightly to Moderately True:
- I don't care whether or not I get in (light)
- Whether or not I get in I am a worthwhile person (moderate)
- I can still be a writer without an MFA (moderate)
- An MFA program can't teach you persistence and dedication, which are the fundamental building blocks for an actual writing career (moderate)
What is very true is that I cared a lot less, and was a lot less nervous, before I did some rudimentary wandering around the internet two weeks ago and discovered the actual acceptance rate. Friends, why did I do this to myself, apply to only one really good really selective program with no back-up plan to help soothe the savage ego-beast?
It's enough to make a person consider finding peace in a $5,000, life-ruining embrace. (Mr. Spitzer, I vomit on you from a distance. You have THREE DAUGHTERS, you arrogant, irritating, disappointing, testosterone-driven douchebag. I hope your relevant sexual organs shrivel up like old carrots, not that I wish you any harm.)
I am also worried for friends who are hearing from other programs. Oh, March, what a blustery and frustrating month you are.