Tuesday, April 21, 2009

It's always midnight on Montague Street

I live in the Land of the Broken Clock, under the jurisdiction of the Broken Clock, and what's supremely funny about this is that it's a fancy one-year-old "radio controlled" La Crosse we were given as a wedding present. We tried changing the batteries, which didn't work, and now it serves as a constant reminder of how imperfect even high technology can be.

Speaking of imperfection, Robin Givhan of the Washington Post argues that Susan Boyle should get a makeover. Susan Boyle, the middle-aged singing phenom who has succeeded without altering her image one jot, should, now that she's made it, stop being so damn frumpy:
Boyle has charmed millions, in part, because she comes across as unpretentious and pleasant. But she's hardly Everywoman. She's an odd duck, a bit of a loner. She's a character. And she's living out a fairy tale.

Transformation is always part of a good story. Cinderella didn't go to the ball in hand-me-downs. She went looking her best in a glorious gown and won the heart of the prince. The ugly duckling becomes a swan.

The tale of Susan Boyle will not be complete until the shy spinster blossoms. Those who have been entranced by her story so far should let Boyle's fairy godmother finish her work.
In other words, why should Boyle change? Because the narrative demands it! In fact, why stop at clothes and hair and shoes? This "shy spinster" needs a prince, too. I for one will not rest until Susan Boyle gets boinked good and proper.

"Spinster," indeed. Jesus. What world are we living in? Maybe she's gay, Robin. Maybe she's not interested in sex. Who cares? Her personal life is her business, and she doesn't need the Standard Gift Basket of Our Approval ("Comes with lipstick, a Maserati, and arm candy for the red carpet!")

For the record, I'm not sure what Susan Boyle looks like or sounds like. I haven't watched the YouTube video (should I?) But I also don't care. Let the woman enjoy her moment in the spotlight. Her story doesn't have to be a fairy tale to be interesting, and even if this is her own personal fairy tale it doesn't have to conform to the Disney model.


sorelle said...

you should totally watch it. not to see the production or whether she's pretty, just because she has a nice voice and it's always worth listening to that.

TLC said...

Preach! (Wait ... does that translate negatively? At any rate, it's what I say when someone makes a good point. So apply it in a favorable manner, and there you have it.)

You + me + cellular technology + soon = yes.

Chris said...

Well, the author isn't arguing for Boyle's sexuality, she's just saying that, she should find someone. And I'm pretty sure that asexual people still desire human companionship and love, they just don't do the sex part.

I don't agree with the reasons for it (that it would make the story complete), and I think the whole makeover thing is unwarranted, but you can't be against her finding a prince or princess charming, can you?

ester said...

If she came to me and asked for help, I would happily set up a Match.com profile for her, but I wouldn't push anyone on her just because we assume everyone wants sex/companionship. She's single -- maybe she's happy that way. And regardless, as long as she's not LiLo-ing it all over town or pulling a Britney, I still think it's her business.