the battery on this laptop continues to diminish, smoothly, without fanfare, even though i've plugged it in. this feels like a metaphor for something.
meanwhile, still no replies to the emails i've sent out. the funniest was to a guy who wanted a girl to run his love life for him. i wonder if people are (understandably) turned off by the fact that i'm a college student. if all of these people are graduates with their own lives, wouldn't they want someone their own size?

oh i see. you flip the light switch, and everything changes. this is also a metaphor ... for something.

also a kind poetry rejection in my emailbox this morning. the editor wrote me personally, in blue. luckily i didn't even remember sending stuff to that particular internet publication. many of these are still outstanding; i imagine they'll trickle in til i accumulate my necessary 32. is this the beginning of a string of a disappointments or is this the disappointments themselves? it's funny, cuz i'm happy. by recent-emigres-to-nyc standards i'm living like royalty. our apartment is white-walled and high-ceilinged and an interesting shape. one of the smaller walls is entirely brick. sure, there's no kitchen to speak of, but no cockroaches either, and we're in one of the most calm, gorgeous neighborhoods around.

we're all getting along relatively well, too, even within our small space. we talk hpV in restaurants with only twinges of self-consciousness. we play nintendo and scrabble over white russians and smirnoff ice. it's a good arrangement. i am embarassingly bad at mario, by the way. why did i waste my childhood reading and casting spells on my brothers instead of learning all those tricks about where the little blocks you bump with your head are? i didn't even know how to run fast; they have to coach me.