worn out

the red sox won the series; my friend nomi is 1 for 1 for acceptances in md/phd programs so far; john kerry is slowly but surely moving up according to slate's newest figures; and i had a good day. one of my actors brought me a brownie. she told me it'd be a surprise, but as she's a jew and i'm a jew, food is kind of a "duh." still, much appreciated.

yet.

my dad's not well. this country's not well. i'm exhausted from caring so much. activisty-ness doesn't come naturally to me, thanks to a hardened combination of skepticism and laziness. so i'm not sure getting my hands dirty in philly this weekend will help. it won't help my posture: i'm so stressed i'm carrying my shoulders up around my ears. how nixonian of me.

this country reelected nixon! this country interred the japanese! this country sat by and let joseph mccarthy operate without anethesia on the body politic, yanking out and tossing, with my elementary skool science teacher's abandon, various inalienable rights. america does not do outrage easily. it's the downside of being so darned optomistic. so will we have the sense to oust this blusterer, this bungler, this mangler of the english language? will we? or will our dim complacency and fear carry the day?

i think i need a cool room with padded walls and an ocean view. and please god, for real, i need my father to be okay.