WTF? / RIP

My reaction to Heath Ledger's untimely and mysterious demise at the hands of an Olsen twin? (You know they're implicated, even if the NYT had to take out the initial report that Heath died in Mary Kate's apartment and that he'd been seen earlier with Ashley.) Grief. Pure grief. And to ask, If you came back as a zombie, who would you bite first? I'd go for Ann Coulter, I think.

My coworker who sits next to me, chugging Target brand cough syrup, reflects and then answers, "I think I'd be a nice zombie."

Another coworker posts the following on his gchat:
Joaquin Phoenix found drowned in bathtab in Hannah Montana's Soho loft
Jake Gyllenhaal found crushed to death by rocks in Mischa Barton's apartment
Zac Efron found stabbed in Coolio's South American villa.
Christian Bale found slashed to ribbons in Rihanna’s Venezuelan thresher

I giggle and life goes on.

ETA: Jack Nicholson was involved somehow! I knew it! Seriously, how has that asshole outlived so many other actors and politicians and presidents?