it occurred to me that this week has made me fearless. other things too, i'm sure; i haven't even begun to assemble the list of Things I've Learned, which i do after any interesting experience/period of time. but particularly, fearlessness, because once you've explained oral sex in technical terms to a group of 20 wide-eyed children, you can do anything.

not all of yesterday was quite so invigorating. after a week that went more smoothly than we dared dream, yesterday was tough.. kids squabbled, and whined and cried, and vomited at 3 a.m. and then at 45 minute intervals thereafter. we counselors stumbled along, doing as best we could. certain high points kept us buoyed too, like when the campers and CITs performed a skit they'd created, a send-up of the first three days of camp, and then later, affirmations, where the kids obediently and quietly spent an hour exchanging sweet nothings. one girl, who hurled a water balloon straight into my eye from a couple feet away, wrote that she'd never forget me.
but in the end, the stress of the week combined with lack of sleep caught up with me. henry james staged one last stand, keeping me up shivering all nite on a pink couch in the hallway. sorelle found me around 7 and escorted me home, scolding for not having woken her. the upshot of this was that i neither went to dc nor the comotion goodbye brunch and awards ceremony. i regained my bearings at some point during the afternoon, talked to ilana, read the first half of moo, and ate eggs for dinner with the fatigued, frazzled como counselors, spasming in laughter to margaret cho.

i'm so amazed that we did it. so proud that we managed to strike our tiny blow against ignorance, gender roles, homophobia, and the media. as far as we can tell, too, they enjoyed it as much as we did. maybe even more.