file this under Best Ever: listening to little earthquakes, having just returned from a day spent with my oldest friends. we hung out in bethesda, listening to ben's stories about being objectified and picked up by gay men in coffeeshops and moving from there to sexuality in general. when that paled, we saw lovely and amazing. catharine keener has been my woman since the early tom dicillo days. back in the so familiar setting of liz's house, we caught up more, noshed on challah, gave each other sex quizzes, and laughed. such gatherings beat all because we remember so much for each other of what was the pain, the beauty, the humiliation of pretending to grow up.

as i was leaving, darling xandra gestured me back. "you're prettier than he is," she whispered. now that's a birthday present.