happiness: morning and evening, or, a warm gun?
this entry is dedicated to you're a good man, charlie brown, the most aggressively Mostly Harmless musical i've ever seen.
so, when ben & i were in north carolina, we came across an immense collection of cheap books in the basement of a PTA thrift store. perusing the fiction, i noticed a paperback called "the milagro beanfield wars." why have i heard of that, i wondered. well, someone must have told me to read it! it only cost a quarter and it was in good condition, er go it is mine.
flash forward to swarthmore. stressed out during the days, i look to the time before bedtime as vital, and in that vital time i often read. i began "the milagro beanfield wars." bells began to ring faintly near the back of my head. i scratched my hair and continued.
by the time i was about a third of the way in, the bells had become insistent, obnoxious, and unignorable. i did the only thing i could: i called my father.
me: dad, i'm reading this book called "the milagro beanfield wars" and --
my father: *laughs for ten minutes*
me: dad! what? what?
him: *still laughing*
him: you don't listen. i've been telling you about that book for 20 years.
me: aha! so you do know it!
him: know it! i'm IN it!
me: wow! are you charley [our last name], the bright-eyed east coast lawyer who moves to the little town in new mexico in the late 60s and helps out the poor oppressed hispanic farmers?
him: actually, i'm the second tier bad guy, rudy noise, the state engineer's lawyer. my part was cut out of the movie.
him: sorry, darling. this is america. besides, john nichols was a gringo stalinist and i always thought his book needed to be edited. with a hatchet.
too bad. i think it's amusing. i'm going to keep reading since i haven't even met rudy noise yet. apparently (& i'd forgotten that this is one of my father's favorite stories) (or rather, i remembered the story but didn't know it was about THIS BOOK) he's describe as being slender, intelligent, and well-dressed. a judge with whom my father was lunching quipped, "you should sue! they told three lies about you in one sentence!"
These Adorable Puppies Will Leave Unable To Express Yourself In Human Sounds And Then When You Finally Regain The Power Of Speech You Will Choose Not To Make Use Of It Because Your Heart Will Have Been So Melted By The All-Consuming Cuteness Of The Puppies That You Will Reevaluate Every Decision You Have Made In Your Life Thus Far Until You Realize That Your Absent-Minded Pursuit Of Financial Rewards And Personal Acclaim Has Been A Shallow Quest Which Even The Most Total And Complete Achievement Thereof Would Not Wind Up Providing You With The Spiritual Satisfaction You Would Find In Devoting Yourself To The Selfless Assistance Of Those In Our Society Who Are In The Most Serious Need Of Aid And You Will Briefly Consider Casting Off Your Worldly Possessions And Joining An Organization Whose Sole Goal Is Ministering To The Neediest And Just As You Are About To Make The Call You Will Notice A Friend Has Emailed You A Link To A List With The Stunningly Clickable Headline "These 20 Photographs Will Leave You Speechless. Especially The 6th One. There Are No Words" And Even Though You Like To Think You Are A Better Person Than That (And Even If You Try To Tell Yourself You Are Only Clicking On It To Make Fun Of It) You Will Click Through And Suddenly All Of Your Good Intentions Will Be Forgotten, Only To Resurface Every At Recurring But Rapidly Diminishing Intervals As Brief Feelings Of Unease And Lack Of Fulfillment In Your Life That You Will Forcefully Ignore Until You Finally Die
20 minutes ago