sunshine of terror

again, up too early. i don't understand. i've already wasted an hour and fifteen minutes and just about that amount of time still stands between me and class. i can't work in the mornings. my very being shudders at the thought. nor is any one else up to talk to and if they are up they're doing Good for Them things like practicing for a marathon or excavating babies and nuns out of avalanches.

last night i dreamt my little brother had become a serial killer. i ran downstairs and found that he'd left ben tied up and bleeding to death in the basement. once i managed to save ben, i told my mother firmly that this could not stand: my little brother would have to leave. abjectly, she agreed, and we all stood around the door as he walked out.

why we didn't turn him into the police, i don't understand. he then proceeded to follow us around paris (?) and much running through traffic ensued. i woke up tense, muscles locked in place as though by that new magic sportsbra.

the dream was probably a by-product of yesterday's manic nature. following the emerson serendipity, i had to submit to 2 phone interviews. the first went fine, no better or worse than could be expected; the second, for co-lum-bi-a threw me entirely off-kilter. i had to talk to two people at once. one, a woman, was the good cop. she asked me specific, manageable questions, laughed at my jokes. the other, a skeptical-sounding new yawkish man, who i imagined with hair on his knuckles, made my head whirl: "who wants to see a movie about the 19th century?" "you know, i hate when movies try to teach me things." "i want to laugh. will your movie make me laugh?" "do you have a story that you HAVE to tell that's different from everybody's else's story?"

weirdly, they began the interview by teasing me. i have brothers; i know what teasing is. they were like, "are you SURE you want to come here?" "come on, we're not THAT great." "it's a lot of money ...." it seemed like they were going to offer me a spot! great! then they shined the bright light in my eyes and got down to business.

at least they agreed with me on lars van trier though, since the man even growled his approval, it was hard to decipher at first. once the interview terminated abruptly, i realized they never even told me their names. gee golly gosh! and i still really want to go to their skool!