hold me closer, tony danza

i had an unexpectedly southern day today, a day of bible and sports, despite the fact that ben and i landed safely back in non-southern territory yesterday afternoon. by this evening, we were in the least southern place on earth, swarthmore pennsylvania, eating vegetarian food and watching almost famous, but for a few brief shining moments i felt those stars and bars.

it began: over an incongruous breakfast of bagels'n'lox and kugel in my very own kitchen, my mother, my brother adam, ben and i argued "the passion" until the only feasible option was for me to disappear into a puff of smoke and reappear with the holy book in hand.

a table near the front of the holy book said was today's selection was deuteronomy 23 - 25 (which includes the creepy/profound quote, "the children shall not be put to death for the sins of the fathers, and neither shall the fathers be put to death for the sins of the children. each man shall be put to death for his own sin.") to warm up, i began to read aloud. then i moved into more relevant territory, that of jesus according to matthew.

we made it through the relevant passages, and some interesting stories, in each of the four. we stopped midway through john, the last, because by that point my brother, sufficiently chagrined at how guilty indeed the gospels made "the jews," had become involved in the umd-duke game.

the umd-duke game ultimately absorbed all of us, cuz it was so darned exciting. i felt somewhat torn, rooting for maryland for being the underdog and the local team, and for duke, a little bit, because i was just there and so, so surprised at how cool chapel hill and carborro were. (seriously! warm, offbeat, leftish, and full of small indy 2nd hand stores and short buildings and cheap gas. two out of the three movie theaters we passed were showing "the passion," it's true, but one was also showing triplets of belleville and that was delightful.)

coming back to college is. well, difficult. there's a lot to be faced and i don't feel quite up to that, to tell you the truth. i am very brave about the potentiality about being rejected by every skool to which i applied. i recognized that risk when i only applied to the top. i am somewhat brave about the fact that i don't have a job or a plan for next year. i am kinda brave about my upcoming film projects, and just brave enough about my honors exams, and that's the sum total of my courage, distributed. if you have any to spare, i'd appreciate it.