prepare. this'll be a ross type entry, beginning when heather, andrea, katie and i lucked into a cabin together. we tossed our bags and went to look around. realization 1: we near80 american college students were sharing this boat with children, old people, and handicapped folks, and most of the boat's amenities were meant for them. after taking pictures on deck, by fountains, and other random places, people hit the only available entertainment: the duty free shop to buy liquor. heather proposed that she and i split a box of what looks like mini alky bottles in tinfoil. each is chocolate and contains a mouthful of a different kind of schnapps, whiskey, brandy, or vodka.
not too long after when i went upstairs i found the hall going full-force, with the DISers distributed in clusters in cabins around bottles and crackers and cans. will, heather's -- well, heather's something, offered me a screwdriver. the girls joined us in a bit and we hung out in our room until dinnertime, 8:30. then the rocking started.
we had this gorgeous free dinner buffet displayed for us and no one could eat a thing. our table looked like a painting of the Last Supper: people moaning, heads in hands, with will, our only male, presiding as the de facto jesus. amazingly i didn't feel sick, but the longer i sat there amongst the illness the weaker i felt. heather will and i ran off, but it was bad everywhere, like the plague had hit. people pressed to the floor; you could hear people in bathrooms. (realization 2: you get what you pay for and this roundtrip voyage + 2 dinners was only $133.) we went to the first floor where supposedly you feel it less and i lay down on the tile wretchedly, shivering. heather and will helped me up and to the room. andrea and katie were already there, andrea astonished: 'i've never been seasick before.' commiserated wanly. we slept.

saturday morning no one felt well enough to see the sun rising over the fjords. but by 8 the water had calmed, we had a makeshift breakfast, and when the boat docked we were ready to take oslo for all it's worth. agreeable weather, a couple degrees colder than copenhagen's, minus the wind, helped us along. we visited, initially as a group of 9, a beautiful sculpture garden of over 100 unique naked figures. the most bizarre one had a nude man attempting to throw four children off the bridge. no one could accuse the norwegians of being prudish.
we trammed back to center city, walked around in smaller groups. katie, our noble navigator, andrea elizabeth and i ducked into a 2nd hand shop and i emerged triumphantly not too much later with a sweater and a long, burgundy skirt. warm lunch. city hall, where they hand out the nobel peace prize and the architechture clashes with the artwork. the national museum where the Scream hangs, along with a couple other rooms filled with munchs. i had no idea i would enjoy him so much. andrea and i circled, speculating, admiring, entirely taken in. and leisurely we made our way back to the boat.

it was a gorgeous day and a gorgeous time, worth the discomfort of the previous night. i was determined that the evening would match. katie offered me a chewable tablet, which i downed, as advised by the ship's crew, at 7:30. earlier dinner this time: we convened and ravaged the buffet. heather, katie, cindy (a friend of will's and thus sort of absorbed into our group) and i decided to sneak into the sauna. cindy said sagely that, like seasickness, body issues are contagious, so we all agreed to just not think about it. for an hour or more the four of us sweated, took cold showers for contrast, and returned to sweat some more. in there, the boat rocking only added to atmosphere. we left, refreshed, bonded, and having survived the choppiest part of the trip.
nevertheless cindy threw up immediately, and not ten steps further towards our room, a little boy vomited all over the carpet. we nearly ran upstairs. i didn't feel anything and didn't want to risk it. i spent the evening safely secluded, talking to people, listening to music, rereading Midnight's Children. later, as a reward for my strong stomach, i had a couple more chocolate-alky bottles with heather. andrea even tried one, after much coaxing, which produced a priceless expression of horror that subsided as we commanded her to swallow.

now i'm back, feeling much the same as i did exiting the sauna. minus the brickred cheeks, of course. congrats to my lovely Colored Girls. we saluted them onship.