"but what good is a book without pictures?"

what made today better than yesterday, i think, was that i spent a good chunk of today laughing breathlessly at pictures of celebs. of course slate has a point that websites like these have contributed to a culture of red carpet timidity and fashion has been dulled as a result. but contrariwise, that culture couldn't be too entrenched, or such earthshattering faux pas as hers couldn't be possible. (check out the pic where she looks like a giant hen!)

the shot of chelsea clinton and a coked-out courtney love is now my desktop background. you know how to spell that, my friends? s-c-h-a-d-e-n-f-r-e-u-d-e!

this person pushed me yesterday. she hurried by, ignoring me, and in her hurry, pushed me and passed without a word of apology. a curious thing happens to little over-articulate me in these sort of situations: i lose my voice entirely. i gawk. i'm stunned. my heart starts beating at twice its usual rate, my appetite disappears. indeed subsequent to the Pushing Incident, i didn't eat dinner, the way i'd planned to, even though i'd been starving only fifteen minutes earlier while contorted in yoga class.

i plan intricate reprisals. i forget to breathe. ultimately i do nothing. this is, i'm afraid, why i'd make a shoddy superhero, and why maybe i have so much admiration for the people who OWN witty retorts, especially in the situations that matter. le sigh.