Wednesday, May 22, 2002

it's late but i'm on an adrenaline rush. CAUTION: SPOILERS AHEAD and ignorance, for which i hope you'll pardon me. could some self-identified geek please endeavor to explain the following:
1) if the clones were the product of the evil bounty hunter, why are they fighting for the good side?
2) if the clones *are* essentially jango fett, how are they possibly fighting for the good side?
3) how did amidala fit so many different outfits into that one tiny (and abandoned) suitcase?
4) why is she so important anyway, aside from the fact that she will eventually be luke's mother?
5) why was george lucas allowed within a light-saber's distance of the screenplay? never have i witnessed such horrific torture of words. it was heartrending: every cliche, no matter how aged or overworn, was thrown mercilessly into the arena and forced to stagger around, borne up only by the feeble efforts of hayden christiansen. can we all agree he was awful? granted it's not an easy job, showing one man's subtle struggle with his character and eventual descent; and george lucas wouldn't know subtle if it chopped his arm off, so hayden's pretty much feeling his way in the dark. the desire for power came through. the distrust of democrary -- right, not a good sign. but i just didn't buy that this pink-lipped blue-eyed mamma's boy was going to end up a fearsome dictator. maybe episode III will make everything clear (and if lucas is smart, he'll bribe peter jackson into directing it.)

i enjoyed the movie when i wasn't sent into convulsions by the dialogue or john williams' score (the bastard is responsible for the equally overblown music in a.i.). r2d2 had some good lines. somehow, impressively, ewan mcgregor managed to remain cool even with a beard and a distracting haircut. (in what century do mullets come back into fashion?) the action sequences, the last quarter, was by far the best part. you could sense how relieved lucas was to drop the blood-from-a-turnip attempt to create credible romance, and focus on what he's good at. exciting jedis, lights flashing, yoda kicking ass.
largely it was fun. i don't regret going. now i just have to see empire and jedi straight through so i can have more than just fuzzy notions of how everything fits together.

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