oh my god, how did i miss reading television without pity joevan recaps while the show was going on? they are hilarious. hi-lar-i-ous. admit it, you and 40 million other red-blooded americans, loved that show. loved it! you watched BOTH HOURS of the finale on monday. you would follow joevan into battle. you would nominate zora for president, or at least psychic priestess of america (didn't miss cleo leave that post vacant?) you cheered, maybe you even almost cried, during that last 'waltz' around the ballroom, and when zora asked if she could kiss him. it actually looked genuine!(ish) -- genuine enough.

go read the snark. it's virtually as much fun as repeating the entire gleefully-prefeminist experience from episode I. (my campus paper published an article from some idiot in connecticut trying to make an anti-joe millionaire argument. go back to russia, okay? maybe on the boat you'll find your long-lost sense of humor.)