scary scary seminar soon. over breakfast this morning ben sat in my chair and calmed me down, walking me through what ifs (if i'm not a _____, what am i? if i could do _____ all again, would i make the same choices?) just say one thing [at seminar -- last week my tally was 0 comments after 3 hours.] actually, he amended, say 4 things. 4 is a lot more than 0, i said. but he insisted. 4. i can count that high.

aside from today's mid-morning crisis, i've been feeling unusually mature and responsible. with my week sectioned for me -- half for AIH, half for seminar -- i get to organize my time into efficient blocks. i've been getting things done. that wouldn't be quite worth turning cartwheels, this being only the third week of the semester, except for me, it's significant. the addition to my arm helps, tho it's turning fuzzy around the edges as its adhesiveness retains remnants of whatever i wear or sleep on. so far i'm accomplishing things, and managing without too much drama.
speaking of which, altho i didn't think i could i ended up able to watch 3/4 of joe millionaire last night even -- and he tossed melissa m.! REJOICE. now it's down to zora v. sarah, tall slender lovely brunette zora v. tall slender lovely blonde (evil) sarah. cinderella v. the step-sister. virtue v. vice. body image problems v. willing to be felt up on national tv. joe, i don't know about you, but i know which one my money's on.