top five time!

list of things i'm most afraid of:

5) my closet. if you saw my closet, you'd understand. beyond my particular closet though lies a more generalized, inexplicable fear of Closets, similar to my fear of Bathrooms. no, i don't believe in psychoanalysis.
4) norman bates [coming out of my closet, dressed as his mother, wielding a knife]. this is horror movie week for my film theory class: lots of watching celluloid women crumple bloody and dead. theory on the subject is actually interesting but it doesn't make up for 3 nights in a row of me sleeping with the light on.
3) honors. people keep giving me inspirational speeches and all i want to hear is "congratulations, it's over."
2) george bush and mel gibson. though i agree with her, i wish maureen dowd would try being wise without being "witty," cuz the "wit" falls flatter than kim novak in vertigo and threatens to obscure her point.
1) thin envelopes in my mailbox. any envelopes in my mailbox. the mail room. being twenty feet from the mail room. living above the mail room. etc.