cds to buy once i actually get some money of my own: boys for pele, revolver, if you're feeling sinister, white chocolate space egg -- or does anyone know the best liz phair? i have exile in guyville but ross took one look at it and said that it was an interesting choice but i could do better.
speaking of which, ross is back from alaska. he's made plans already to get to SF (he's dating alyssa) and he's staying longer than i did even so that he can attend area one and go backpacking. it's so funny to remember that life continues in a place once you leave it. ben called me this afternoon while becca ilana and ari were here, feeling shitty, and i immediately felt guilty for having been in a giddy mood. when i returned to the kitchen after speaking to him, ilana told me i always look sheepish when he and i get off the phone.

ilana went to liz's, ari went to a barbeque, and becca came w/ my family and me to mel's. there we drank copious amounts of diet coke and then watched traffic. didn't get all the way thru cause i had to drive becca to a metro station. the plan was to proceed to liz's but traffic dissuaded me, and tiredness, and the desire to call ben, and to go to sleep. i also have (another) poem brewing in my head. for some reason, altho i thought i was going to and i certainly claimed i would, i'm reluctant to sketch on this site. it's too public a forum for drafts, i think -- ? anyway, it's about potatoes :-) if you're interested enuf, email me and i'll send you a copy. or at least a thank you note for yr attention. i also wrote one yesterday but i kind of want ben's okay before i post it on my site.

it's hard but i'm trying to take in only what's right around me, not to think about the two months ahead of me or even the week i just had. sheba smells (she's next to me, breathing heavily onto the bathroom tile). becca outlined her life's plan for me this evening, then demanded mine. i could only stammer vague ideas, like apprenticing myself to avy kaufman. unfortunately that would be locating myself in hollywood which, tho i might very well want to end up in movies, would be good for my self-esteem only in the sense that i would doubtless soon be the thinnest i'd ever been.
and may i add, it's wonderful to be back on my computer using IE 5.0 again. goddamn netscape in the berkeley library irritated me.