i'm in alburtsland (okay, i know that's not how it's spelled, but none of YOU know that), andrea's dorm. last nite i crashed around 8 o'clock after a macrobiotic dinner prepared by eric the viking. in return i walked him thru some html basics and gave him pointers, sounding i think very professional which is a talent i have. even when i don't know what i'm talking about i can sound convincing. so it's tempting to pretend to be an expert all the time. when i was little i used to lie cheerfully to other children on the playground, make them think i only spoke hebrew. ben and i lied roughly every other time we spoke to each other during those formative grade 4 - grade 6 years. i guess i deserve the mistrust of people and things i developed back then.

anyway, my mood dropped. i wanted female company. back in my room, sapna, refreshed from a five hour nap, was planning to hit the clubs. i fought with my phone card for the next couple hours; at 11:15, she went out and returned at 4:30. made me feel like a class-a dork which didn't help alleviate the loneliness. this morning, post-class, for which i had to wake her up, i wandered off by myself. emailing was too maudlin. i shopped at a vintage store, bought a norman mailer book (he's supposed to be a genius, right?) and went to a cafe where a hot barista (what's the male equivalent?) gave me a deal on my cafe au skim-lait. this happens to me kinda often, but it's kinda disheartening because it's a side effect of the cute-helpless look i get rather than a conscious sexy-Woman thing.

met up with andrea and co. feeling in my own way refreshed. sam, a sweet-looking red-cheeked midwesterner, invited us to dinner with her host family. excellent food; very wry, relaxed company; lots of alcohol offered and thanks waved away. the girls -- andrea, mel, another midwesterner, and i -- adjourned to sam's room for storytime. bonding. i needed that. still need to find people who curse, tho. even the monster clubbers seem more wholesome than i am.