in the computer lab at commonwealth, becca's high skool. she's elsewhere enjoying her reunion. i'll probably catch up w/ her but after several hours of being in the company of strangers, albeit nice ones, on three hours of sleep (9 a.m. to noon) when i saw a computer i dove for it.

yesterday ben and i made the spontaneous/impulsive decision to train it up to boston where (swat)becca lives. the cheapest fares were either last nite or tomorrow and we decided to just go. my father took some convincing -- look, danny!, i mentioned my family, and look! danny, i've mentioned you! -- (danny, my brother's friend, who read thru this entire site one day while bored at work) -- and in his distraction at my going he lost two credit cards. undeterred, ben and i said our goodbyes, packed, and made it to a 9:25 train assuming we could sleep between then and 6:35 a.m., when it was to arrive in boston. i should have made like ben and downed some nyquil in preparation but i did not and so only snatched little now and thens of sleep. for the most part, i sat and swayed with the train, feeling too braindead to pick up one of the five books i brought with me for that very occasion, my cd player, or my notebook. consequently, i made it a few key hours this morning -- enough to get in to the station and make it to becca's house, and even exchange pleasantries with her mother -- before collapsing in her bed.

since, she's taken ben and me on a brief introductory tour of cambridge and boston; we've met up with her friends, drunk tea, sat in a hotel, and our now supposed to be partying. i'm too frayed and muddled still to be witty or attractive or engaging so i don't feel like exposing myself to people. at the risk of being seen as becca's antisocial friend from swarthmore (when will i stop caring what other people think, i wonder) i'm going to find a nice corner to curl up in and read.
i miss my friends a little, which is silly considering i was just with them [you] for a week. seeing other people reuniting in a high skool setting inevitably brings back memories. i drifted at some point slightly from some of the people who helped bear me through that ordeal. how? why? is it better this way? is there anything i can do? is it worth even thinking about?