christopher!

the sopranos this week wasn't quite as anxiety ridden as last week. last week set a new record. last week was one of the tensest hours of my late -- or least the tensest hour of my life i spent in front of a television set. this week was just amazing television. i yelped once or twice, and buried my face in Mendel Katz, the stuffed tiger my dad brought back from the zoo a few months ago.

i CAN yelp because i'm currently watching tv in the privacy of my own house. i'm home, and not because i've cracked up (although i kindof have). wait. no. i know that i have not cracked up because my father and my older brother both started making fun of my "fear of graduating" as soon as they were done hugging me hello. i must be okay.

i feel perfectly sane. right now. but at least once every day for the past four days something has hit me and i've collapsed. it's as though i have no emotional reserves, no bumper. maybe it'll help to be home, even if only til wednesday. at least being home gives me things to look forward to: seeing folks, seeing eternal sunshine of the spotless mind (at LAST), my little brother downloading back episodes of the O.C. for me off the internet. and i can't over-emphasize the healing properties of Mendel Katz.