Tuesday, May 11, 2004

gutman, brody, thompson, kelley ...

today was my fourth, and most comprehensive, day in a row of studying for my labor and urban history honors exam. sometime during the 12 hours we spent on the material today, i began to feel like i was on top of it.

with luck, tomorrow you will hear from me: it didn't go perfectly but it went; and now i have to submerge myself once more for my film theory honors exam friday morning.

on the plus side, i dined with my favorite professor and her adorable son last night. the prof & i bonded over oldskool streisand movies like on a clear day you can see forever. two of my favorite underclassmen were also in attendance and they, like a disturbing number of other underclassmen in the past few days, reminded me that i may never seem them again.

it's one of the least helpful things anyone's said lately and suddenly everyone's saying it. "i may never see you again." well, fuck you. come on! you're friends with me, right? then you should recognize that i'm a sensitive soul already overburdened with stress, and i can't deal with your awkward farewells right now. & i'm on a No More Tears streak: 7 days and counting. just pretend, the way i pretend about my honors exams and my future, that it will all be okay.

(and honestly, it will. how could i not come back here? i came into my own here. at random points throughout next year, you'll find me skulking behind the bamboo near sharples trying to overhear swattie conversation, or strolling through the first-floor in mccabe lecturing my invisible companions on the subtleties of postmoderism, or eating popcorn loudly in film society screenings. if you don't see me again, in other words, it will only be because i'll be stalking you.)

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