just took a blah film final. my consolation that is it wouldn't have been any less blah if i had studied, which i didn't; i opted for personal contact instead (come on, isn't that what college is really for? the classes are just a front. they're there to dupe your parents into consenting to spend $120,000 so that you can spend four years away from them being influenced by and influencing thousands of kids your own age.) i regret nothing. last nite i went to our last co|motion meeting where we exchanged Secret Beacon of Light gifts. stefanie's for elizabeth was by far the most extravagant and funny. it was a large box with a note that read, "for when your father or grandmother come to call" and played on elizabeth's fear that either of those people discover that she is an agnostic lazy queer.
stefanie had filled the box with evidence to the contrary: schedules detailing elizabeth's daily grind including "meeting with platonic girl-friends" and "straight pride meeting. make signs: Straight is Great! etc."; letters -- one from a boy tearfully professing his love and, moreover, his respect for her decision to only date within her faith; another from a prof commending her on her stellar work but advising, "for the sake of your health, please get some sleep"; and pictures of hot boyz to hang on her walls.

second prize for coolest gift went to sarah c., cadelba's beacon, who among other things made a booklet of poetry that i flipped through enviously. my beacon, as it turned out, was sorelle who made me a friendship bracelet and two cds, one a mix, the other a copy of e.f.o.'s quick. it was very sweet. my gift didn't go over so well -- i had to explain it and explanations usually kill a joke. in this case people laughed once they understood but, you know. not the same. *shrug*

nothing's getting to me recently. not finals stress, not sudden co|motion crisis (we've been informed only 5 of us can actually be counselors this summer), not leaving, not not-skiing, not break. yesterday ben and i celebrated having weathered tenmonthsofwhat by sliding down a flight of stairs on our butts the way i used to when i was little. i've had a lot of great conversations with people recently and i'm feeling very love-radiant. incredibly, nothing else matters