rebecca left this morning around dawn. she had promised to wake me up to say goodbye; instead she stuck her head in my door and said, "ester!" i managed, in my disorientation, to sit up and squint, and she threw something soft and about the size of my palm at me. "bye," she whispered. "bye," i whispered. i tossed the palm-size soft thing on my bedtable and immediately fell back to sleep. when i woke up more effectively later i looked over and recognized that it was actually a homemade pillow, about 3 x 3, with a maroon heart on one side and an "E" stiched on the other. it smells good and i know there's a name for soft palm-sized pillows that smell good but it escapes me at the moment. anyway, she's gone (bye becca ...). joel left yesterday while i was on campus, leaving as a goodbye a note in the bathroom. i'd say we're an unsentimental bunch except that it'd be a damn lie: as evidence of that, in fact, i have an inscription in my notebook from becca that's so gooey it sticks to your fingers as you read. in the best way possible.
i'm supposed to be finishing up my history paper which is due at 5. then i have a stat final at 7. briefly this morning i decided to let the stress come crashing in but at lunch i ran into brigid and emilyjacob who calmed me down. now i'm just skating thru, waiting til 10 at which point i'll be DONE and i'll return to the barn and swill wine from the bottle w/ anyone interested in joining me. oh and the package mi madre sent me like two weeks finally arrived, containing two items of clothing, both green, one of which ross says defines me as a person. ross and i are the only ones left. wow.
let me know if you're interested in wine. oh god leaving soon -- won't be back for nine months -- that merits a real wow.