LAST NITE: sorelle elizabeth brigid kate and sarah c. joined ross and me in sitting in a circle on the floor of the common room playing I Never with wine. we went through two whole bottles and made a dent in a third. pretty tame questions; chill fun; and it didn't take long for all of us to develop a buzz. i'd never drunk that much wine before. bid farewell to dear brigid who caught that shuttle at 4:20 out of my life for the next 9 months.

THIS MORNING: sorelle arrived pre-noon and she ross and i wrangled with various possibilites to how to combine a good last lunch w/ everyone's time constraints. we settled on take-out and managed to get ross to his septa train with one minute to spare. we sat on the grass outside sorelle's dorm and ate our sandwiches at leisure, bonded over rent -- funny: first you love it, then you hate it, and eventually you grow to love it again, if for no other reason than it's such good common ground -- unveiling the sad truth that though we had hidden desires to be exciting characters (mark in eliz's case, mimi [she has the best songs!]) in mine) we're all joanne.
after last minute "packing" (running in circles, fretting over what she's forgetting, etc.) eliz finally allowed herself to be driven off to the airport. which left sorelle and me to find the one unlocked door in kohlberg and hang out there. then to ben's to troop obediently beside him to the pizza place and watch him eat lunch.

back at the barn now, alone. times like these i never know what to think. i don't know what to expect so i can't think about what'll happen next: adam could walk in right now, or in an hour, or he could call and say he got lost. when i get home, i could stay home; or i could call mi girls immediately (lana! who has been rendered incoherent, as far as i can tell from emails and bizarre comments, by the appearance of long-lost summerfolk; nomi! not in new york; liz! should be back from smith already; exhausted; looking for a good heterosexual nondramatic break; etc.) the point is there're too many possibilities. so i'm sitting stubbornly staring at my stripped bare walls, pretending that nothing but this monitor exists, not the bags behind me, not the prospect of dane-land in front of me. nothing.