everybody's talking about the goddamned war. if you're not, well, as my father's friend trotsky once said, "you may not be interested in war, but war is interested in you." where i am the anger is palpable. -- & speaking of anger, i happened across this mesmerizing list of the 50 worst people of 2002. some of its bombast is funny, some of it just takes your breath away. but some of his points are particularly well-made.

not that i'm the kind of person who'll hate someone else just cause i'm told to. and i won't agree to go to war or stand for peace just cause i'm told to either. unless of course, it's funny, like the tractor standoff:

Watson said he is acting alone. Asked why he decided to protest this week, Watson said: "I just played it by ear. The Lord told me to do it. He said, 'Time is running out, Jack.'"

i mean, i don't want to like this guy. he's a tobacco farmer and clearly a nut-job. but he is against the war and hey, maybe this is the kind of effective political action the peace movement needs.

i'm not sure why the anger hasn't hit me. because i accidentally slept thru cowboy bush' s 13 minute call to action? because i'm too stressed with more immediate personal issues? (ha -- that makes it sound so serious. i don't really have issues. i have perfectly reasonable things to deal with, things i brought on myself.) because i'm suspicious of melodrama? because people are worrying about the future and i think, what's the point? the future hasn't even happened yet!
my bad mood lifted last night thanks to a moonlit rendez-vous with ross in the ampitheater. before that, tho, i was sincerely anxious: if i was breaking down and it was only MONDAY, what kind of quivering pastel mess would i be by friday? thank god i've stepped back from the brink. now perhaps the world will too.