it's virtually snowing outside. that's not right. but glory and sunshine are fleeting, i guess. the play, c'est fini. the glory too. so much in one week! one poetry contest, three performances ... a little clot of ecstacy.

to delay the comedown, i went over to felicia's, still in pajamas and recovery from the cast party last night. we watched almost famous and i cried at beautiful kate hudson. she looks about 12. beautiful blond women in movies have this bizarre effect on me: for a while i couldn't watch shakespeare in love because it hurt too much. it's deeper than jealousy. i even wrote a poem about it once. anyway.

cast party was fun. nothing extraordinary or untoward happened. nobody is incapable of doing a foolish thing; nobody is incapable of doing a wrong thing; but nobody did anything visibly foolish or wrong last night. people drank a lot, and told stories, and in some cases rolled on the floor or belted out showtunes. all to be expected. people did reach the lovey stage. harmless, earnest declarations were as prevalent and necessary for the occasion as paper cups.
there are no words for how much i'll miss this cast and this show. it could not have turned out better than it did. at the same time it feels like something i achieved, something at first i wasn't sure i could do, and something i can only take a smidgen of the credit for. regardless, i am so glad to have been a part of it.

one of my actors demanded that i direct noises off next semester. i only know it vaguely. applause is addictive: i'm torn about trying again. pragmatically, i don't know if i'll have time. but we'll see.