next year in wakanena!

spending new year's eve in a small, secluded house in the adirondacks with no television and 11 other people, three of whom i knew not at all and three more only a bit, turned out to be more fun than expected. yes, really. there was much cooking and eating and drinking and revelling. one late night we even played charades. my team consisted of three young curvy curly-haired women and one young man -- hence we christened ourselves, "Bobby and the Boobs." with a name like that, how could we not triumph?

our decision to save money and drink sparkling white wine to ring in 05 was mocked this morning when i arrived to work to find a tardy christmas present: Brut champagne. guess i'll have to do the whole new years thing again. party in new york! 05 is going to be so great, we'll celebrate it twice!

fo real, i hope 05 fulfills its potential. i hope enough Actually Good movies come out that making a top 10 list isn't an exercise in futility (i could only get to 5 this year: dogville, eternal sunshine, the 5 obstructions, the incredibles, kill bill 2). i hope i manage to put the past far enough behind me that i can write again without feeling iowa admission demons looking over my shoulder and snickering at my meager efforts. i hope i can learn to hope again, the way i did before the election, instead of descending into weariness and cynicism. especially as the weather gets colder.

my friend rebecca in sri lanka has thrown herself into helping with the relief effort there. you gotta figure, if people in southeast asia can be hopeful, or even, at least, active ... visit her links and and send her your well-wishes.

swarthmore seems so far away from me now, despite my recent visit and despite the fact that the new years in the adirondacks felt like a mini-reunion. so much has changed in the past 3 months that when i think about this year it's hard to push my brain further back than august. but as time rolls on, i think i'll think of 2004 not as the year of demoralizing mfa rejections, seemingly desperate political situations, the tsunami, the blogs, or the sale of my grandmother's house, our touchstone, in vermont. i'll think of it as the year college ended and life began.