the sixth estate: real estate

well, the week only tepidly improved, just like the week before that AND the week before that, leaving me to conclude that january must have simply been a plagued month and perhaps february will be better. humans do have an amazing capacity for optimism, hmm? multiple marriages, land wars in asia, a 2nd term for the bushmen ... even if we do recognize it as self-delusion necessary to maintain forward motion, we can't stop. optimism, ho!

speaking personally, if i let myself feel that not simply the month of january (only 3 more days to go ...) but the rest of my foreseeable future would continue this way, i'd be cutting my own knees out and watching myself fall. so instead i find things to cling to and soldier on. vis: the craigslist real estate section. i check it daily, after i play set, habit being the only way to unlearn intimidation. at least for me. and i don't function well on any terrain until thoroughly unintimidated.

** new additions to my internal celebrity roster: elliott gould, the former mr. babs, and lili taylor, who is exactly as adorable as she is in the movies. i give myself periodic checkups after the famous people waltz out of my sight as easily as they waltzed in. did my smell change, however slightly? did their fairy dust rub off? i haven't noticed any differences yet, but i'll keep you posted.