this has not been the easiest entry into a week. no, it has not. first there were House Issues. then Family Issues, Grade Issues, and Job Issues. just because those words have capital letters doesn't mean they were dealt with Professionally and Calmly, either. no sir.
on the flip side, they were dealt with, and already i can watch the past bear away the worst of the unpleasantness. having invested so much emotional energy by TUESDAY seems a little ludicrous, but complaining about that is a bit like yelling at birds who decided to shit on you all at once, together, instead of one after the other.
today was my first at work in my new position. my new title, XXXasst, when you pronounce it, actually sounds a bit like "jackass." i should totally put that on my business cards. make it my email address.
my family sent me a congratulatory pot of mini cacti. best ever. cacti set a great example: they're strong, resilient, persistent, and most importantly you don't have to get them dry cleaned. no, most importantly, you can't kill them. come at them with axe, mudslide, torch, it doesn't matter -- cacti will merely raise an eyebrow and render you impotent; you will withdraw with your humiliation and they will resume their business of being impervious and prickly. then birds will shit on you, all at once, together. don't mess with cacti.
maybe that should be on my business cards. that whole little rant about cacti, in tiny green print. i'd love to hand those out at cocktail parties. and maybe the print could be prickly, and make your fingers bleed if you pressed it! yes, this idea is gold.
i've done so much goddamn reading lately. i can't stop myself. i finished cloud atlas and breakfast at tiffany's and i need more, more. both were terrific, incidentally. i almost didn't read the first because i thought it looked like work, and because when i saw that someone'd branded it "postmodern" on the back and my eyes rolled so hard i almost hurt myself. luckily i found myself shut up with it in wanakena over new years and i decided to give it another chance, only to become enthralled. read it so we can talk about it!
or give me suggestions. i'm open to anything, as long as it's quality.
A Back-to-School Reading List From the Jezebel Staff
23 minutes ago