important step on my journey towards defeating fear of people who are cooler than i am: playing scrabble with suzanne, suzanne's boyfriend, and ross. this mistress of intimidation, and my editor at the paper, is in my tennis class and gets to witness me making a fool of myself twice a week close up. apparently this merely whets her appetite.
last night i finally succumbed to pressure from ross and joined them group for a friendly game of 4-way scrabble. my hands shook through the first few moves. i made ross count my scores for me (that being somewhat less ridiculous, i suppose i supposed, than making basic arithmetic mistakes.) but ultimately ross and i tied for second. that's right: despite nerves and knocking heart, i held my own.

my older brother will arrive in a couple hours to swoop me up and back home for the weekend and the ill-timed new year. life here will proceed without me, which is a shame since i've been enjoying it muchly so far. i like my classes. i like the people i hang around with, even if they do challenge me to be more witty more often. i like being with ben in the amphitheater. i don't dislike battling it out with the history and polisci departments for my special major. even the phoenix's gnarling my review isn't overly upsetting. over the week it's become easier to look around, hands on hips peter-pan-style, and say with pride, "yes, i belong here. and no, i will never grow up."