sporadic posting because, as i wrote to darling overseas becca, when i'm cheerful i'm usually not in a position to journal, and when i'm glum i don't want to inflict my glumness on my little audience here. yesterday i was quite glum, at least at points. but in the evening, i showered, i chatted with my sarahs, laughing as one attempted to simultaneously look tough and drown her smith-inflicted sorrows by swilling malibu straight from the white, chubby bottle, and then i communed with my ben while pre-partying frisbee players screamed in the hallway, psyching themselves up for Phi Psi.
today everything's gone right. for the first time, i beat ross in scrabble. he took the defeat amicably and afterwards we sat in the amphitheater together composing missives to miss becca abroad. i've had cheerful conversations with anyone i've come across, including just now my precious mother. apparently i inadvertantly outed myself -- as having been Questioning in high school -- to both my parents when i mentioned it in a previous entry. she took it well; my father was more shaken up by it. i can only imagine how awkward things could have been had they gone another way. it makes me conscious of how fortunate i am -- a straight white upper/middle class american female. even the jewish thing has only served as a perk, though in the real world conceivably that could change.

i'm steeled to set up an appointment with the special major guru here. marge murphy, my personal diety, suggested i meld my film minor and special-major in american studies into some specific american-history-and-film-honors-special-major. unlike regular old special majors, who have to write regular old run of the mill theses, *honors* special-majors get to do a Project. in my case perhaps that could be a (my) movie. wouldn't that be spectacular? it's so exciting i can't even truly consider it.